Different and contradicting "must-do" and "the-only-way" parenting styles can be found all of the web and from the mouths of any parent and non-parent alike. This unsolicited and even solicited advice can be overwhelming for even the most confident, calm parent.
What bothers me the most about this advice is the stress it can cause parents. From infancy, I have read that I must let my child cry himself to sleep or he will never fall asleep without my help, ever. From the same person, I was told that if my child did cry himself to sleep he would have abandonment issues for the rest of his life.
If my child had a drop of formula before the age of one, his health would never be the same. I must breastfeed for 6 months of life. Solid food before 6 months of age is NOT recommended. Your baby hasn’t had any table food and he is 6 months old? He is WAY behind. My child has been eating pizza since 4 months of age.
If you feed your baby in the middle of the night, he will get used to it and wake up every night. Don’t forget that your child will have growth spurts and need to eat in the middle of the night.
OKAY OKAY...you get the idea! This contradicting advice, while I try to ignore it, can get to me sometimes!! So....
My New Years Resolution is to stop listening to this advice.
I have reminded myself that children are people with personalities, moods, needs, feelings, and wants. Step-by-step programs outlined in a book or from one-sentence-piece-of-advice taken out of context is not a moto to live by.
Parenting styles do not work since they are so rigid and don't take into account individuality and special circumstances. Therefore, I am shifting my attention to parenting tips. This is quite an important distinction.
I have resolved to take all the advice I have gathered and store it in my back pocket. Now, I can pull out a tip or two when needed to fit my present situation.
If my child is crying in the middle of the night, I will try to calm him without the fear of dependency. If he isn doesn’t calm down, I will feed him. Maybe it is a growth spurt. Or maybe, I will let him cry minute to see if he is just crying in his sleep. I know my child. I can make educated decisions on the spot. If my child falls asleep in my arms one night, a habit is NOT forever made and he will fall asleep the next night in his bed just fine. Luckily, I have a flexible child who can go with the flow quite easily. I understand some children are not as flexible. This is fine. I don't judge!
To help my fellow parents, I decided to create my top 10 bag of tricks to help with language development. Parents can feel free to use these tricks as needed when needed to help parent their children and develop their language at the same time.
Please click on parenting tips (NOT parenting styles) for more information!